Denied, But Never Dismissed

What rejection has taught me about resilience, purpose, and the audacity to believe in myself louder.

Hey loves,

I’m writing this with a full heart and a tired spirit. This week hit me hard.

I don’t always let myself get emotional about this journey — the rejections, the constant pitching, the doors that don’t open — but lately it’s been hard to ignore.

I’ve been moving nonstop: sending emails, building pitch decks, filming interviews, prepping content, showing up to events alone, trying to build my name off pure talent and effort.

No PR. No media team. No handouts. Just me.

Last week, I stood in the pouring rain outside Crumbl Cookie, hoping to connect with Cole Bennett — not even as a fan, but as an aspiring journalist.

I introduced myself. I followed up. I made my ask.

I told him I’d been trying to get a Summer Smash press credential for months.

And I was denied. Again.

I tried to attend Chance the Rapper’s skating party — not for clout, not for fun, but to cover it. Document it. Share something magical from my city.

And I was told I couldn’t come in.

It was humiliating. Not because I need validation from celebrities, but because I work hard. I do the work.

And yet somehow, it never feels like enough.

It’s painful to be an independent Black girl in media trying to make a name for herself.

People smile in your face and still don’t take you seriously.

They treat you like a little girl playing dress up — not like someone who’s built a podcast, launched a talk show, grown a platform, led a media team, interviewed athletes, and been consistent when no one was watching.

I’ve done everything they tell you to do:
– Created a personal brand
– Pitched to brands and reps
– Sent reels, resumes, press kits
– DMed politely and professionally
– Waited, followed up, waited again
– Pulled up to events, camera-ready, alone
– Showed respect, did the research, stayed humble

And still, I’m told “no.” Or worse — ignored entirely.

It makes you feel like you’re screaming into a void.
It makes you question if the doors are locked just for you.

Life Lately:
– Rejected from Summer Smash press after 10+ emails, 3 DMs, and standing in the rain
– Shut out of Chance the Rapper’s event — again, not to party, but to work
– Interviewing high school and pro athletes on my own dime
– Building The Alex El-Amin Show from my bedroom
– Planning a podcast tour with no outside funding
– Balancing ambition with heartbreak, school deadlines, and family stress

But here’s what I’m not going to do:
I’m not going to shrink.
I’m not going to apologize for wanting more.
And I’m definitely not going to stop showing up.

Because I know what I bring to the table.

I’m smart. I’m consistent. I’m good at this.

And I care deeply about storytelling — especially the kind that centers Black voices, women, athletes, and underrepresented communities.

If no one gives me a platform, I’ll continue to build one.

What I’m Loving Right Now:
– Product: Fenty Gloss Bomb Heat — it gives “undeniable”
– Show: The Chi (still studying how they shape culture through narrative)
– Song: “Moment 4 Life” by Nicki — I listen to it when I need a reminder
– Self-Care: Logging off and journaling my truth
– Mantra: “They won’t believe in you until it’s trendy. Don’t wait.”

Beauty Tip of the Week:
Mix your setting spray into your foundation on the back of your hand before applying — your makeup won’t budge, no matter how much you cry or grind.

Dream Interviews (Still Manifesting):
– Coby White
– Derrick Rose
– LaLa Anthony
– Karen Huger
– Candace Parker

Barbie Thoughts:
“You don’t need access — you need audacity.”
“Being famous for doing the work will always age better than being famous for being in the room.”

On My Radar:
– Developing a video series on being denied as an independent media girl
– Pitching to more Black-owned outlets — we deserve to take up space
– Building out a digital press kit that reflects the work, not just the vibe
– Romanticizing my next era: no more begging, just bossing up

Call to Action:
If you’ve ever been told “you’re not big enough,” I see you.

If you’ve ever cried in the car after being overlooked, I see you.

And if you’ve ever wanted to give up but didn’t — you’re not alone.

To my readers, my supporters, my girls with the grit and the lip gloss: keep going.

We’ll make it. And when we do, we’ll remember every door that slammed in our faces.

With love and fire,
Alexandra El-Amin — Chicago Barbie
Still standing. Still shining. 💗